Charming TriPrice story of the week:
The girls went to Colorado for Spring Break and hit some massive turbulence. Apparently enough to really upset some of the passengers. But not the darling girls! Nope - didn't seem to phase them.
In fact, sweet little Claire, looking out the window and in her sweet little girl voice loudly announced "We're going to fall from the sky!! We're going to hit the ground! Look, we're falling!!"
What I would give to see the faces and hear the thoughts of the white-knuckled passengers nearby.
If I were to draw a self portrait, it would really be more of a caricature, resembling me, biting the corner of my lip while attempting to focus through the sleep deprivation and aphasia, juggling multiple items with each limb -except for one foot, pushing down on the gas peddle- while shoveling bites of food in my mouth, talking on the phone -handsfree, I assure you- and pumping. (what?! yeah, I said it...)
Of course, there would be a big silly grin on my face and my hair, dusted with dry shampoo, would be pulled up into a pseudo-french twist. Any remaining mental energy (that little bubble above my head in aforementioned caricature) would be plotting out the next 8 things I need to accomplish within the next 7 minutes, prioritizing for the order most efficient - oh, and re-evaluating the balance of my life (what are we doing for date night this week?)...to ensure things are as they should be...
Yes, the image I paint is that of a working [breastfeeding] mom. And yes, the breastfeeding part does get it's own shout-out because it is incredibly difficult and time consuming to maintain.
I know I'm not unique in this, but I have a whole new appreciation for what new parents mean when they comment dryly about 'how much work' a newborn is or the level of sleep deprivation. Ironically, I only have the energy to even comment on the sleep deprivation now that it is improving-- we are on the downhill slide with the shorty sleeping through the night(!) at least for the time being... I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop (aka the teething to kick in and the sleep schedule to run amok.
Regardless of the strain, physical/emotional/mental -- I'm sure I'll look back on it as 'not that bad' and even in the throws of this attention-deficit delight, there is a calm happiness. Oh, hello. So good to see you!
Have I ever mentioned that my house caught on fire? Yep. Christmas morning in the wee hours. I was 8 and I remember it vividly. We rebuilt the house and moved back in several months later. Suffice to say, I guess I know what it is like to escape your burning home in the middle of the night.
Cut to today. Grown up. House of my own. Infant child in my care; under my roof. A shrill smoke alarm is unsettling to anyone at any hour, I think. Especially when it goes off multiple times and no source/ explaination can be found.
And it wakes your baby
Who sleeps downstairs from you
And it's the middle of the night
And you've checked all the closets
And you've felt the walls for hotspots
And found the nearest firestation
And your baby is going back to sleep
But you doubt you will any time soon
What would you grab? What is your plan? You've got 30 seconds...
So, I have a system that works now... But only half my data/ emails.
Nice.
Trying to figure out what my remote schedule should look like and what I will need to be most productive. Hmmm....
The last time I made this drive it was 4AM and I was in labor. Though it felt like just as long of a drive this morning, it was very different.
Today I returned to work. With one hand strangling my starbucks cup and the other extended, locked and white knuckled on the steering wheel, I attempted to drown out my thoughts and emotions by blaring Madeleine Peyroux. Bleary eyed at 9am.
The day was a series of mishaps and realizations as I was reinstated, authorized and documented. Learned about my new role as there was a massive reorg while I was out. Discovered the mother's room and learned what it was like to pump while away from my child (and attempt to balance work while escaping for 20 minute 'mommy breaks' every few hours). Oh, and I can't omit that the hard drive on my work system crashed. Awesome. Sure hope I backed it up, but who knows how long until I figure out what all I lost.
By and large, though, the people I work with were happy to see me and welcomed me back with enthusiasm and sympathy. Even a janitor stopped me in the hall and asked in broken English and hand signals where my baby was (and noting the absence of my beach ball sized belly). I learned that I will be able to work remotely and the boss man (who got a big promotion during the reorg) fully supports "what ever it takes to make me comfortable with returning, ramped up and feeling balanced," I just need to work out the details.
The shorty did great and the nanny was verbose and cheery with her info... everything you would want in a nanny's update.
So all in, it was as good as one could have hoped for, however, I am
completely exhausted to the point of aching body. The mental and physical depletion likely lead to the development to top off the day: I had a Junior League (which I've been trying to quit that thing for a couple years now) meeting tonight at 6:30. So after this long day... I dashed home to feed him then turned around to leave again... even more time away from baby. =(
I get up there only to learn that the meeting had been cancelled, but the notice had been sent to my work email (which of course, I still cannot access). On my way out I saw my cousin-in-law who is the VP of Membership and after a brief conversation resolved to resign, with her full support. =) And just like that... it's done. Driving back home, I heaved a sigh of relief and realized it was the long-overdue 'right thing' for me.
I knew today I would start something, but didn't realize I'd finally
stop something.
